What It’s Like Living With OCD

Posted on September 20, 2024

Hello readers, I hope everyone enjoyed their summer. I thought for this month’s blog post I would talk about my OCD and how it impacts me. I should have brought up this topic back in May when it was Mental Health Awareness Month but didn’t.  It has taken me some time to decide whether or not I want to discuss it with others but I have decided it’s best I do. It’s often found in people with autism because those on the spectrum have some OCD traits. Now I will discuss how it impacts me specifically.

I am a 31-year-old adult who not only lives with autism but also deals with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It’s not easy living with it and it can be hard sometimes. I have been living with OCD all my life since I was really young. I remember when my mother told me that when I was a toddler, I had toy cars lined up along a staircase and if someone moved them around, I would get upset. I have a thing for organizing my stuff. I like to organize things and keep everything clean.  Another thing is when someone leaves the cabinet doors open and I need to close them. That bothered me and still does to this day. Cabinet doors are meant to be closed, not left open. Not only is organizing stuff part of my OCD, but I also live on a strict schedule. I have always done things by routine and sometimes I’ll try to make little changes to it. When it comes to waking up in the morning, I used to always wake up at 2:30 AM because that’s when I decide to shower and have time to myself when everyone is still asleep. Nowadays, I have made a change to that and I wake up around 3 so I can sleep in a little longer because getting plenty of sleep is important to your health. That is just one little thing that’s been changed. The one thing I wish I could change is when I go to bed because normally, people don’t go to bed until a little later. Although I don’t really fall asleep until almost 8 at night, I stay up watching a movie or TV show on my Android. I wish I didn’t live like that when things are on a schedule and everything is just in any random order.

Another way OCD impacts me is I have this habit of washing my hands repetitively. If you ask me how many times I wash my hands I will tell you the answer is at least 12 times a day. I don’t think anyone washes their hands that many times. After so many times of doing that, my hands get really dry and people ask why my hands are so dry. I don’t tell them that my hands get dry since I wash them so many times because I feel embarrassed about it. It’s uncomfortable having to deal with that.

The one big thing that is a problem is the fact that I watch the same TV programs every single day. Rerun after rerun and sometimes it can be frustrating. Not just to the people around me but to me too. Every day I would watch the same shows a million times. In fact, I have watched them so many times that you could quiz me on each episode. After a while it gets boring. I find myself getting bored of it too. In the past month or two, I have tried to change that. I go on either Tubi or Prime Video and I look for things that I haven’t seen before and I put it on, including movies I haven’t seen. That’s one thing that has improved.

Before I conclude this post, I would like to say that these things I have listed are what life with OCD is like. I feel that as I was writing this post it was a little uncomfortable but as I talk about it, I feel a little better because I think others should know this part about myself. It took me a while to open up about it because it’s not that easy discussing things like this with other people. After all, you don’t know what they would think of you. Not just that but I think it’s hard for anyone to discuss a personal challenge they live with. I think some things have changed and some things still need improving. I am working on one thing at a time. I would like to say thank you for letting me discuss this topic with you guys and hope you enjoy your day.