Anne spent most of her life feeling misunderstood until she was diagnosed with Autism later in life. Everything started to eventually make sense, even more so, when her family was all diagnosed with ASD and they begin this new journey together. She wants to write about all of this because sometimes one’s struggles are silent and only through efforts towards inclusion can we all be more comfortable to communicate our struggles. And as someone who is rejection sensitive, she often fails to communicate her struggles because she anticipates that her struggles will lead to further rejection and the cycle continues. She hopes that sharing her vulnerabilities leads to at least one person better understanding themselves or an Autistic loved one. She is looking forward to sharing more specifics about her struggles as a neurodiverse family residing in Pennsylvania.
View all postsEvery Day is an Obstacle
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Every day is an obstacle, a gauntlet I replay,
Morning hits like gravity, pinning down my day.
I’m not a morning person, but life has chosen this for me,
I start each day already scrambling, outmatched by entropy.
Searching for my contact case while trying not to trip,
Phone vibrating on the dresser like it’s rushing me to ship.
Why are mornings always freezing? Who designed this broken scheme?
Why is raising children harder than untangling my mind’s extreme?
Where’s my purse and where’s my keys, my laptop, my sanity worn thin?
Even “soft” clothes feel electric, buzzing needles on my skin.
Why is eight o’clock the standard everyone obeys?
Breakfast is a chicken biscuit gulped between delays.
I’m already running late from existential static,
The dread that whispers daily in a tone too automatic.
I’m always working—always answering—
Students text and I respond,
I am a chatbot of my making,
Running scripts, I never spawned.
Why don’t I say no to people? Why stay quiet when I know?
Thoughts keep racing, darting, looping in a nonstop undertow.
Every meeting, every moment
Replays inside my mind’s parade—
Did I overshare again,
Or make somebody feel dismayed?
Did I forget something important? My brain flags it then moves past.
My lists keep multiplying—every day still outcasts the last.
A thousand tiny obstacles, a maze I navigate,
And that’s not even counting all the politics I hate.
Leadership’s a chessboard with a rulebook that’s unclear,
While my brain runs ten-mile sprints through every week and year.
Every day’s an obstacle, but still—I see it through,
A perfectionist who’s never quite enough in the collective view.
Storm inside my circuitry, bright static, tangled rays,
Yet still I rise and meet the world
And clear the maze most days.
Anne Brown
