Dear Future Self

Posted on April 10, 2025

Dear Future Self,

I am writing this letter to you in March of 2025. I am writing this to remind you to always believe in yourself and your abilities as an autism and disability self-advocate. Before I started my autism journey, when I received my diagnosis at age 44, I never believed in myself to do anything positive. I did not get the street smarts like my other siblings did. They were the ones who received awards for their work, not me. I struggled for most of my life, nothing came easily for me.

Luckily, I did manage to graduate high school and college with a degree in Business Administration through a special program for those with a learning disability, which I was originally diagnosed with. Even then, I still struggled with finding a job, and no one could figure out why it was until I was 44. I was diagnosed with a form of autism called Asperger’s Syndrome. From that point on, things started to change for the better! I received my first of two advocacy awards, which led me to all sorts of doors being opened for me. I have done many different autism-related projects since then. I joined an adult autism support group and eventually became the head of the group, a position I have been doing for eight years now at the time of this letter. I am also a 13-year board member of our local Autism Society affiliate, as well as other important projects that I am doing today in the hopes that it will help other families and individuals living with autism.

All has not been rosy in my life even after my diagnosis. My parents both passed away from different types of cancer, my grandparents on both sides are gone, and many of my aunts and uncles are gone too. Just over two years ago, my oldest sibling passed away, which has been a very difficult period of adjustment for me. She was the one who always believed in me, helped me when I needed it, and was there when I was awarded both advocacy awards. I am estranged from my three other siblings, which is hard, but I am living the life I want to lead. If they can’t understand that that is their problem, not mine. I am very fortunate as someone on the spectrum as I have many friends. Many adults on the spectrum have a hard time making or keeping friends. I do have two dear friends since we met in college, and we are very close friends today. I am even still in contact with a few of my classmates from elementary and high school. Plus, I have made many friends and connections in our local autism community over the years.

It is currently 2025, and things are starting to happen again. I have just had an autism presentation that went very well and have another one coming up in about a month where I will be inducted into a wall of fame. These are happening because I am doing things “My Way” and I am keeping my good name and reputation going in autism circles. Unfortunately, I really do not have a personal life to speak of. Yes, I do have many friends who are proud of what I am doing, especially a cousin on my mother’s side of the family. She is there for me like my eldest sister was before she passed away. If I could give a piece of advice to my future self, it would be to stay away from certain things like arguments that you cannot possibly win. I know I have certain things that can cause me problems. But the best advice I can give to my future me is to remain who you are and not be somebody you are not. Keep working hard doing the thing you love the best is continue your work in being the best autism self-advocate you can be! The rest will work itself out.

Sincerely,

Thomas