Penny is an artist who uses her creative side and imagination to express herself. She’s now using this opportunity with ASDNext to not only do that through art, but also blogging. For much of her life, she felt like the “quirky sidekick” stereotype in a movie, always doing what others expected of her. When she was diagnosed with autism later in life, that all began to change. This news was life changing and she knew it was time to rewrite her story. She’s no longer on the sidelines of this so-called movie that is her life, she’s the director, leading-lady, or whatever other part she needs to play to figure out who she REALLY is! Every small step toward authenticity is now a victory for her in this new stage of life.
View all postsDear Future Penny
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Dear Future Penny,
I hope you’re doing well. I know it’s weird to hear from me, and I PROMISE I’m not just going to selfishly delegate a bunch of tasks to YOU, uttering the sentence, “That’s future Penny’s problem now!” (Future Penny, I give you all the props for picking up my slack when I feel lazy and overwhelmed.) Instead, I’m reaching out with encouragement and support. Sometimes, being the present version of yourself feels like getting the short end of the stick.
You may not have noticed since you only exist in the future, but we seem to run into the same issues with our self-belief. We go through these periods of self-doubt triggered by toxic individuals who try to feel better about themselves by tearing others down. Major plot twist, it’s not always a mysterious group of “toxic” people; sometimes, it’s Present-Day Penny (me) playing the villain’s part. I can be our own worst critic, undermining our confidence to move forward or try something new, just as bitterly as any bully could.
This becomes the catalyst in an avalanche of self-doubt. We worry that we aren’t worthy, can’t keep up, and that our unique imagination and gentle heart are too strange or hold us back. We get frustrated and sometimes even request past Penny to dig up mortifying memories and awkward moments to further solidify that we are the world’s most intolerable person. These feelings are icky, and I don’t know why we embark on climbing this mountain of extreme self-criticism.
While I have no magic solution, this letter may serve as a reminder and guide for both of us to break this cycle and move forward. Future Penny, remember that those toxic voices, including your own, are lies. Your unique imagination and gentle heart are your strengths, not weaknesses. Especially in your art, remember that the creative process (or any growth process, really) is a rollercoaster. Our goals, priorities, and skill levels are constantly changing. Yet, the younger version of us would be so proud of the creative person we have become. We are worthy, and I am so proud of us for following our weird little heart.
As I wrap this up, I cannot say what the future has for us. I do know that we are guaranteed to stumble a few more times along the way. And I will not lie here; I will likely sabotage you to infinity. That alone really makes me admire your strength and resilience. I have some work to do on myself to not set you up for failure; know that I try my best! In the meantime, please keep this letter close as a reminder and a way to break free from that pesky cycle of doubt. Things will always get better. Solutions extend beyond stubbornness and often appear in the most unlikely circumstances. Listen to your weird little heart and have faith; things always figure themselves out, Future Penny.
With Love & Support,
Present Penny
Penny
