A New Year - 2025 - My Life

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Here it is… the beginning of the new year 2025 with former President Trump taking a return trip to become the next President of the United States. My 64th birthday is also this month! I cannot believe I am turning another year older. I never thought I would reach this milestone with my heart disease. I have been fortunate that I have been able to keep the grim reaper of death at bay. All of the prescriptions my doctor has prescribed are still working but how much longer will they work is the question. Now there are new treatments for the type of heart disease I have or if these meds no longer work, I will probably need a new heart and lungs. I do not mean to get morbid but that is circumstances that I face. It does scare me because I have nieces and nephews I want to see grow up, maybe get married, and have kids of their own. I would love to see what happens; God willing.

As I am writing this blog, I am currently 63 years old and still single. I have been single all of my life and I have never had a special to share my life with. I have never dated as my brother and my three sisters did, only two of whom are alive. Our eldest sister passed away over two years ago and I miss her every day. She was my rock. She was there when I received both of my advocacy awards, and she loved my photography which is a hobby of mine. I have been taking photos since I was a kid in grade school and continue to do so today. I think I have probably taken 100,000 photos of my neighborhood and I have a photography page where I keep all of my photos in well over 300 albums. With this page, I think I have over 300 followers who love and sometimes comment on my photos of Mechanicsburg, my personal trip photos, and other museums that I volunteer for.

A couple of days before Thanksgiving 2024, I got a text from a member of my adult autism support group that he was worried about me being alone during the two biggest holidays of the year Thanksgiving and Christmas. He texted me that he went for a walk with his mother my name was brought up. He said “I know about your interesting relationship with your siblings. I also have one with my sister, but we learned to communicate positively and avoid confrontation. Life is too short for estrangement. I also dislike being alone and can’t even imagine not being with my sister’s family. I hope you have it in your heart to forgive and not hold grudges. That is why the holiday season is so special to me.” I responded by saying you do not need to worry about me with the holidays, this has been going on since our parents passed. My siblings are just busy with their own lives, I have my autism journey to continue living, and with the passing of our eldest sibling two years ago things are not going to get better. Truthfully, I do not mind being alone, I do not need family drama, and I can do whatever I want.

My friend responded “I worry because I care. No life is free of drama, I feel that you will have regrets later.” I have no time for regrets because I have plenty of projects to keep me busy in both autism and disability plus the adult group, the ASHA board, and other autism projects that I am doing. As I stated sometimes in life some families become estranged because of how busy their lives have become. My family is no different. Deaths in family members or relatives can sometimes cause family rifts because they do not take the time the time to grieve correctly. My friend said that he understands. I made that mistake by not taking the time to grieve for the loss of our eldest sibling because I had too many people needing me like the adult group and others. Sometimes a personal life has to be given up for the good of others in need. With death at bay, my friend responds that it’s never too late to ask for forgiveness. I respond I have no reason to forgive for that time has passed. I cannot change the past; I can only move on in my life because I honestly do not know what time I may have left on this earth. That is why I work hard doing things for others in the self-advocacy groups and projects that I am involved with. I want to leave behind a legacy that can help or inspire others in the future. I hope to soon pass along my autism/disability advocacy torch to help my legacy continue.

He responds – I understand and hope you have no regrets about this decision. I respond As I stated I have no regrets, I have too many people that depend on me. I have to bring my “A’ game to each thing I do. If my family does not like or understand what I do that is their problem. However, I am often upset that my sister ignores me and leaves without saying goodbye. I’ve come to understand their decision and recognize that it is their loss, not mine. I am not going to worry about that I have my own path in life to lead. He responds that I should still make amends because he understands what it is like to deal with distance from siblings.

As you can see by this conversation between my friend and I we have two different ways we look at our live and our siblings.

Thomas Hassell

Thomas is 62 years old and has spent the past few decades involved in autism-related social/support groups among other organizations and has become a well-known self-advocate throughout Pennsylvania. For the past 15 years, he’s led a group called “Spectrum Friends” that helps people with autism come together, listen to guest speakers, make new friends, and go on fun field trips. He’s also won and been nominated for multiple disability/autism advocacy awards for his work within the community. Thomas continues to strive for greatness every day and is looking forward to sharing his life story and amazing experiences through ASDNext blogs!

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