Why I Prefer Texting as Someone with Autism

Posted on May 23, 2024

Texting has always been my preferred method of communication. All the nuances in verbal conversations can be downright overwhelming. As someone with Autism, neurotypical conversation can seem as intimidating as Olympic-level gymnastics. It is a struggle to express myself verbally without being awkward. When I have a thought, I blurt it out while it is fresh. Texting slows things down and turns the conversation back into a natural volley for me. I type, you type. Digesting written words is much easier, and my thoughts and ideas flow more smoothly than in-person conversations.

Texting is also way more productive and cuts through the maze of visual information. Verbal instructions can feel very overwhelming and impossible to keep track of. Being able to type keywords and instantly filter through messages makes me happy, something that is impossible to do with verbal conversation. Many on the spectrum, including myself, lack a big-picture mentality. Unlike verbal conversations, text messages record what is said, indicated, or, most importantly, instructed. I can take my time navigating all the details in text messages and respond calmly and victoriously at my own pace.

Texting is also the easiest way to stay connected. Mom and Dad—I still call them on the phone daily, but both have learned to adapt and gotten better at texting. Dad sometimes misspells things, but he gets back to me pretty quickly. Mom always SAYS she “doesn’t do texting” but can hold her own (especially if there are emotionally charged aspects to her message). I have some friends with whom I only chat through text and never call on the phone. Some of our conversations consist solely of sharing memes and animated GIFs. Despite not having much to say, we can still stay connected and keep in touch.

The less positive side of texting is how I read and respond to messages absent-mindedly. Preferring to be reached by text, I receive messages frequently and fervently, which makes it easy for me to misread them. Even if I don’t misread something, I often litter my responses with typos and mindlessly hit send. The voice-to-text feature is even worse. Most people can text hands-free while driving. Half of the messages I receive are incomprehensible. I am just as much at fault, though, as I admit there are times when I don’t bother to read any of the text that converted from speech for me. Due to laziness or busyness, it has led to some embarrassing misunderstandings.

One negative trait that I have noticed about myself is that when I feel like I am not being understood, I tend to repeat myself over and over again to make my point clear. When I am texting, I can use the copy-and-paste method to save time and energy. However, I have noticed that this approach can make some people feel defensive or attacked, even though my intentions are always good. I am simply trying to be understood in the only way I know how. Repeating myself endlessly, whether in writing or speech, ALWAYS leads to more confusion and frustration. Note to self: continue to fine-tune conversation skills.

So, I love texting; sue me. It’s part of being a millennial. It’s also part of being autistic, as I struggle with nonwritten communication. Texting someone squashes a lot of emotion behind the conversation. Some might see this as a drawback, but it’s positive in my book. Decoding body language and emotions is complex for many people on the spectrum, and it’s something that neurotypical people take for granted. In a world where everyone yearns to be heard, I cherish texting as my most straightforward, direct, and natural communication method.