Who I Am
I’m a thinker, a dreamer, a writer, a self-advocate. These words describe parts of me, but only parts of who I am. I can choose which label to use in many situations and that changes the way other people interact with me. The way people see me also changes the way I see myself and what labels I use for myself.
There are labels that I feel that can’t be changed, like female, Asperger’s, nonverbal learning disability. Everybody has labels that seem to stick with you forever. I feel like I have a bright red “A” on my forehead for Asperger’s because it affects everything I do, for good or for ill. People tell me that I don’t appear to have Asperger’s but that doesn’t change the way I feel about myself. This is why I fight so hard to make that label invisible. I do not trust people to be kind instead of cruel. I try to hide how much I struggle on a daily basis. It is incredibly difficult for me to trust people, especially since it’s hard for me to read them accurately.
I’m working on letting go of my anger and hostility. I’m working on trying to see myself as others do and not always just use Asperger’s as my label of choice. After all, I am also a poet, a singer, a blogger, a friend, a sister, an aunt, and much more. I can choose which labels to use for myself. I think that the choice of labels that we use for ourselves says a lot about us and how we see ourselves.
Out of Sync Woman