Road Trip

Posted on August 14, 2023

I find it hard to travel especially when it involves spending time with family. I’m going for a short visit to see my Dad for his birthday. He is living with my older sister and her family at this time. I’m only planning on being there one to two days.

I have mixed feelings about this trip because there are so many unknowns for me. I’m not sure how to behave due to the fact that this might be my last time seeing my Dad alive. He is very sick and there is a good chance that he only has a few months to live. I’m not the only one hoping to both celebrate his birthday and also say goodbye. My younger sister and her family will be there too. I’m pretty sure my sister is also having a hard time.

I struggle when others are experiencing strong emotions, not knowing how to respond. I have difficulty with my own feelings, putting a name to a feeling can be tough and the appropriate way to behave is challenging. There are so many ways that things can go wrong. I know, it’s not necessarily the best attitude to bring to a family reunion of sorts but it’s how I currently feel.

However, I’m worried about saying or doing the wrong thing as I anticipate that emotions may be running high. I really want things to go smoothly with my family. I really do want to spend time with my siblings, their families and my Dad. It has been a couple years since I have seen my siblings and their families. I’m also worried about using too much energy and experiencing Autistic Burnout when I get home.

Spending a lot of time with family and then having a long drive home is incredibly tiring for me. I worry that using so much energy will cause both Autistic Burnout and a depressive episode. Maybe I can figure out a way to prevent this from happening. I’m thinking to reach out to my friends and asking them to call me when I get home and during the weekend.

Yes, I’m nervous about this trip but also greatly appreciative of having the ability and time to see my family. I know that many others don’t have the opportunity or option to see their family due to many factors. So I’m crossing my fingers and trying my best to have a good attitude about this upcoming trip. As always, wishing my readers the best.