Night Before

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It’s the night before I need to make an important decision and I have so many questions that I can’t answer right now. I have to wait until my meeting until I can ask questions, much less answer my own questions. The “what if” and “what then“ questions are driving me nuts. The “will I be able to make a smart, thoughtful and maybe wise decision” keeps circling in my head. These thoughts are distracting me from what I need to do now and they won’t help me make a better decision tomorrow.
I need to honestly acknowledge these thoughts and feelings. Then I need to focus on what I’m doing now, be it work, household chores, or spending time with another person.  I need to have confidence and faith in my decision-making abilities. I need to believe that no matter what I decide, I will be okay. The decision I have is an opportunity and I’m grateful that I have the freedom to make choices for myself.
A big part of being an independent adult is having the liberty to make choices: small, medium, and large. Living with the consequences, be they good, can’t tell, or potentially bad is also part of being an independent adult. I’m living with the consequences of spending more last year than I usually do which means that this year I need to spend less. I decided last year to make three big purchases, plus I had a large vet bill and purchased Christmas gifts so my savings are way down. This year I’m making a big effort to save and spend less every day, month, and definitely for the year.
In order to make good decisions tomorrow, I need to make good decisions tonight. I need to calm myself down, relax, and stop thinking about tomorrow. I also really need to get a good night’s sleep tonight. I hope to achieve that by petting my cat, listening to good, soothing music, and getting ready for bed before it gets too late.
 I already have everything I need for my appointment ready and laid out for myself. I know what time I need to get up and what time to leave for my meeting. I even have paper, a pen, and time tomorrow to write down any last-minute questions I might have. So now the hard piece to define is being at peace with myself and not rushing to make a decision so I feel less uncertain. I need to remind myself that I’m a smart, confident person who is a competent, successful human being, and no matter what I decide tomorrow, it will be okay.

Out-of-Sync Woman

I was diagnosed at a young age and went through the special education system in public schools. Family is incredibly important to me as I grew up in a large supportive family. I enjoy being outside in nature and arts and crafts.

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