There are people in my life who I genuinely enjoy spending time with. I look forward to seeing them, enjoy being with them, and feel good afterwards. It’s not so much what we do, it’s the time that I get to spend with that person. Even just sitting together not talking I feel comfortable with the quiet of the surroundings. I feel safe, secure and I don’t feel like I need to put on a mask. What is it about these people that makes me feel good? A shared history, a calm demeanor, the fact that I know they really care about me.
I’m incredibly lucky to have people like that in my life. it’s important to treasure the people who are like that in your life. What does taking care of the people in your life look like? Honestly, really listening, not rushing to fix things, but just being there and supporting the person I care about. Making time and really being there means not playing with my phone, no texting, no emails, no internet, and no taking phone calls. I’m not reading and actually paying attention to the person with me. It’s possible to be there physically but not mentally, having experienced that quite a few times which is frustrating for me. Making room in the conversation for them. Asking what’s important and listening. Being interested in what’s going on in their lives. I make a point to remember important facts about their life, and also to ask what’s going on in their life.
Also, exhibiting understanding when they may have other things going on or they’re not in the right place to be with me is important. I always try to remember it’s not always about me, that everyone has a life and lots of stuff going on in it. I try not to overwhelm the people I care about. Am I still learning? Yes. Am I still growing? Yes. I’m not in a hurry to become perfect nor do I think it’s possible. I want to do the best I can and be a good person. What am I trying to accomplish? I want to be a good person, good friend, and someone they enjoy spending time with.
What are some of the things I’m doing by myself to be a better friend? I’m working on accepting myself and bringing less drama to the interactions. Less drama for me means understanding and acknowledging my emotions and then letting them go. Spending less time with people who aren’t helpful to me or are unhealthy. Taking less stuff personally. Not picking up other people’s emotional baggage. Spending time actively de-stressing by meditating, deep breathing, and walking. Getting a good night’s sleep, drinking enough water, and eating healthy. These are all things I can do for myself. There’s always more I can learn and practice in regards to being a better friend and I’m actively pursuing this.
It’s taken me a lifetime to realize how much I treasure these people in my life and how important they are to me. I feel incredibly lucky to have a few people that I can count on. I hope you also have people that you can count on and spend time with. As always, I hope you find this blog helpful. Best wishes for the rest of the year.