I was diagnosed at a young age and went through the special education system in public schools. Family is incredibly important to me as I grew up in a large supportive family. I enjoy being outside in nature and arts and crafts.View all posts
Swept away with emotions and thoughts. I try to be positive and upbeat but last night was incredibly hard for me. Have you ever wanted something so badly that it’s all you think about? You’re constantly asking yourself questions and trying to think about what next to complete your goals? The last few weeks I have been focused on attaining my desires. Yesterday I found it would be more expensive and more difficult than I thought it would be.
It was like hitting a brick wall full on. I was reeling, distressed, despairing, and angry last night. I felt like I wanted to send angry texts and emails and possibly even phone calls. I was so sad, then I was furious, angry and wanted to lash out at my family and friends. It was an incredibly bleak night; I felt hopeless and defeated. I wasn’t rational and it took everything I had not to do something that I would feel badly about in the morning. I tossed and I turned and finally got some sleep.
So here I am the next day, and oh goodness gracious, I feel like I have an emotional hangover from all the intense emotions last night. I’m feeling a little flat, like soda left open all night. One of my friends reached out to me this morning and it really helped; she reminded me that this is just one snag. She said not to give up and that there might be a way around it but if I give up, I’ll never know. She’s very wise and smart and I’m glad that she supports me. I was reminded by what she said that I have a lot more work to do before I give up.
So what did I learn from last night? Well, it’s easy to get swept away with emotions and thoughts. It is generally not a good idea to say, text, email, or communicate how angry you are when you’re still angry. I’m really grateful I didn’t do that last night. I would have had a lot of apologizing to do this morning. I learned that distracting myself and getting some sleep allows me time and distance to think about things more rationally.
I know this is not the easiest or the most pleasant of blogs I have ever done but it’s honest and heartfelt. As always, I hope this is useful for you and gives you some perspective on what you experiencing or going through. Best wishes to my readers about their endeavors.